I was checking my stats in Google Analytics and couldn’t help but laugh at some of the keywords and phrases that brought people here.  A few of the more amusing ones:

can i get on a flight with pinkeye – Sure!  Just don’t rub your eye goop on the flight attendant and you’re golden.  Sorry about your eye, man.  That sucks.

how to be a soccer mom – Sorry, can’t help you there.  My goal is to NOT be a soccer mom.  Or didn’t you notice the title of this blog?

no to soccer moms – I agree.  Although this is sort of an odd thing to Google.

soccermom cat – I do own a cat, but she is not a mother and generally speaking does not attend sporting events.

watch release the bats – Is this a movie?  Haven’t heard of it myself, but I can tell you that Bats with Lou Diamond Phillips isn’t worth the time invested.

the ring scared the shit out of me static tv – I KNOW, right?  It scared the shit out of me too.

And there are several variations on i scored a soccer mom.  Um.  Congratulations?

*****

In honor of The Dark Knight, which opens today (and which my husband is going to see tomorrow but I AM NOT, damn kids and their need for supervision) I will attempt to review the previous Batman movies in three words or less:

Batman.  An excellent classic. 

Batman Returns.  Creepy and dark.

Batman Forever.  Cheesy and spastic.

Batman and Robin.  Brain-bleedingly awful.*

Batman Begins.  Different but enjoyable.

*Okay, I can’t let that go so easily.  There are not enough words in the English language to describe how horrifically bad this movie is.  It was on TV last night and I was reminded just how terrible it is – I couldn’t take more than a few minutes since I already sat through it once in my life.  While the cast is made up of some quality actors, it just doesn’t work.  The acting is stiff, there are too many separate plots, the lines are intolerably cheesy and as much as I like Arnold Schwarzenegger this is probably his worst peformance ever.  EVER, in the history of his ENTIRE CAREER.  He has all these awful one-liners that just make me cringe.  If you have had the good fortune NOT to see this, don’t.  Really.

*****

I ordered my iPod today!  N found me a pink Nano on eBay that was about $60 cheaper than I have seen anywhere else.  Plus free shipping.  And it is supposedly new in the package, so we’ll see when it gets here I suppose.  I can’t wait – soon I shall finally join the 21st century!  Woo hoo!

*****

And now for the important stuff.  I believe I have established that since Miss T doesn’t yet sleep through the night (although she has been doing better lately, can I get an AMEN) I watch quite a bit of TV very early in the morning.  Since Nick at Nite has recently started airing Family Matters, I find myself struggling with the following philosophical dilemma:  who is more annoying, Carlton Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, or Steve Urkel?  It’s a tough call.  Urkel’s voice is infinitely more grating, but this is less of an issue when you are watching it muted with closed captioning.   He’s just a lovable nerd, where Carlton is a grade-A (but lovable) spaz.  Carlton is also an extreme snob so that’s a point against. However, I believe I mentioned my disdain for Urkelbot a few days ago, so that has to be factored in as well.  (Not to mention Myrtle Urkel and Stefan Urquelle, please stop the insanity.)  I really can’t decide, YET I CONTINUE TO WATCH.  What is wrong with me?  Wait, don’t answer that.

Have a good weekend, everyone!