Oh, THANK GOD IT IS MONDAY.  I am not even kidding.  AE has been out of town so much this summer it had been a while since we had to wrangle both children at home all weekend long.  GAH.  AE bounces around continuously, and since becoming accustomed to playing Wii at my in-laws house he now uses all video game controllers in that fashion (not that he’s ever been able to sit quietly while playing but it is about 2000% worse now).  He very nearly clubbed his sister upside the head while playing Monkeyball golf on our GameCube then moments later nearly got me.  However, I now have a secret weapon.  It is amazing how capable he was of sitting still after I yelled If you can’t learn to control yourself we will NEVER get a Wii!!  Heh.

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Did anyone watch the men’s 4 x 100 swimming relay last night?  Was that not the most awesome win ever?  Go Team USA!!  I was about to go to bed but decided I could spare a few more minutes and I am so glad I did.

I must admit to being a little bit disappointed in our women’s gymnastics team, though.  They were having a rough go of it for sure, but maybe things will improve.  I hope.   Speaking of gymnastics, I will be cheering on Oksana Chusovitina.  Any 33-year-old who can still hang in a sport dominated by teenagers is someone I can get on board with.  This is her fifth time at the Olympics, which is totally unheard of for a female gymnast!  Amazing.

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My sister says that she has gotten her computer back from the repair shop, so maybe now she can start her blog.  ENTERTAIN ME NOW.  No more procrastinating or excuses!

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Miss T was rather on the crabby side yesterday (since she still refuses to abide by normal human sleep patterns) so in a desperate attempt to make the time pass we went to Walmart (desperate times call for really incredibly desperate measures).  While there we decided to search again for these primary composition notebooks that AE has to have for kindergarten.  I had never in my life seen or heard of these things.  They are blank at the top of each page and have those special wide lines at the bottom.  You know, the kind with the dashes that supposedly helps kids learn to write correctly?  (Do they still call that D’Nealian?  So weird.)

MY GOD, those things are hard to find!  We had heard that they were always the most challenging item on the school supply list and that was not an exaggeration.  The first time we tried Walmart, no luck.  We asked a passing employee who confirmed that yes, they do carry them but were currently out.  And yes, there would be another shipment but he didn’t know when or how many.  Evidently they come in some sort of magical secret shipment that can’t be tracked or something, I didn’t really catch the explanation because all I heard was These are going to be a monumental pain in the ass for you to find and we’re pretty much the only place that carries them and therefore we feel no need to make it easier on you.  Sucker. 

Since our initial attempt at Walmart, we tried several other stores.  No dice.  Then during our unplanned time-waster trip yesterday we decided to look one more time.  And happened to find 4 of them, partially obscured on a random shelf nowhere near the school supply aisle.  SCORE.  He needs two for this year and two for first grade so I will never have to look for the damn things again.  OH WAIT.  I have another kid.  CRAP.

Before I leave this fascinating subject, I have one more gripe with the Primary Composition Notebook of Doom.  Regular old-fashioned composition notebooks = $0.50 each.  One PCNoD = $2.44.  OF COURSE.

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I’ve been looking around for some sort of inexpensive activity table for Miss T.  (She is a crazy standing fool, that one.  At 7.5 months old she’s already standing without support for several seconds at a time.)  I didn’t want to pay much and found something doable at the local kids’ consignment store on Saturday.  It’s a Playskool Air-Tivity table (missing almost all of the pieces, unfortunately), which they don’t make anymore.  Probably because they are LOUD and freaked out one too many kids back in 2002.  I only know that’s when the Air-tivity line was introduced because when AE was a baby he had an Air-Tivity Stacker which scared the ever-loving shit out of him.  It’s a good idea in theory – air wooshes up through the toy and makes parts of it spin and whirl – but in reality the battery-operated fan is way too loud.  It terrified AE so much that the only way he would get near it was with the batteries removed.

I only mention this as an example of the fundamental difference in my kids’ personalities.  I cleaned the table up and replaced the batteries, and as soon as I turned it on Miss T got all excited.  She happily stood at it, chattering and squealing with glee while the table wooshed air and played music loudly.  AE, on the other hand, eyed it suspiciously from across the room, clearly not appreciating the noise.  What is that thing, he asked warily.  He continued to keep an eye on it all afternoon, startling from time to time when Miss T would re-activate the fan.  His father and I found the whole thing quite amusing.  It continues to amaze me how two children from the same parents can be so different.

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I got a wild hair Saturday afternoon and decided to clear out one of the cabinets under my bathroom counter.  It’s the one where I’ve been keeping extra toiletries and bars of hotel soap.  OMG, hotel soap.  I think I may have a problem.  Someone should stage an intervention, because in that cabinet I found AT LEAST 100 different bars of hotel soap that I have collected over the years (seriously, I found a bar with the Carnival Cruise Line logo.  We last cruised Carnival for our honeymoon.  In 2001.)  There were also zillions of bottles of hotel shampoo and conditioner.  And body lotion, sewing kits, shoe shine kits (WTF.  WHY AM I SAVING SHOE SHINE KITS), bath salts and even mouthwash.  What is wrong with me?  Even after throwing out everything that had obviously gone bad, I still have an entire bin full of the stuff.  Why do I save it if I am never going to use it?  I officially have enough bars of soap to last me the rest of my life.  It is clearly some sort of hoarding compulsion.  I’m probably the reason hotel rooms are so expensive, because I hide all the free stuff in my bag each day so that the cleaning staff will put out more.  So that I can take it all home and hide it under my bathroom counter where it can stay until it goes bad and has to be thrown out.  Am a crazy person.  SEND HELP.

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The McDonald’s near my office is in the process of adding a McCafe so they are giving away free samples, a different kind of coffee every day.  On Friday I asked for the sample, and was rewarded with a full-sized iced latte.  I couldn’t believe that they actually intended to give me the regular size as the free sample, so I assumed it was a mistake.  Apparently not because when I asked for the sample today I received a full-sized caramel cappuccino.  FREE COFFEE = AWESOME. 

This post brought to you by the letter C for caffeine.