AE goes through phases where he likes to talk a lot.  It seems that we have entered one such phase, not so very long after the last one.  Lately, though, he seems to be talking simply to hear the sound of his own voice.  He just talks and talks, and attempts to be an authority on any given subject.  Half the time he doesn’t even know what is going on, but feels the need to contribute to the conversation anyway.

Yesterday afternoon we had to take Miss T up to campus for even more baby experimentation, and from the moment we picked up AE at school the chatter was nonstop.  Unfortunately, I had even less of a clue what he was talking about than usual.  To me the entire monologue conversation sounded something like this:

According to Garfield  [Ed. note:  WTF?] there was a thing in 1349.  Did you know that there was a historical event in 1349?  In America?  [Ed. note:  Attempts to explain that America did not technically exist in 1349 were unsuccessful.]  This was in the Garfield book!  Garfield Out to Lunch.  Yes, he was talking about the history in 1349.  And it was funny!  HA HA HA.  Did you know?  About the thing?  Well, was there a year 1349 in Europe?  But you said there was no America in 1349.  There were people living here?  But what about the Americans?  In 1349!  So funny!  Hee!  Why don’t you know?  It was the year 1349! 

It also appears as though he has truly become a boy, in that now all bodily functions are endlessly amusing to him.  As a female, I really don’t see the humor but my husband assures me that yes, poop is HILARIOUS.  Anyway, while getting AE ready for bed last night he and I had the following conversation.

AE:  So, I saw a guy on TV who was drinking his own pee. 

Me:  Excuse me?

AE:  His pee!  He was drinking his own pee.  And it was so funny, HA HA HA!

Me:  Um.  What did you see this on?

AE:  The TV!  And then do you know what he did after drinking his pee?  He ATE HIS POOP.

Me:  What?!  Ew!

AE:  His poop!  HA HA HA HA HA!!  Isn’t that FUNNY?

Me:  Nooo, not really.  What were you watching, exactly?

AE:  Channel 19!  Where they pee and poop and fart.  And burp!

Me:  Um, okay.  I doubt that, but can we talk about something else, please?

AE:  POOP!  HA HA HA!!

I found the whole exchange rather disturbing (and disgusting) and was racking my brain, trying to think what he could have been watching on channel 19 to possibly see such a thing.  Then my husband pointed out that 19 is the local cable information channel, where they have job listings, community announcements and muzak, but probably not people drinking their own pee.  In other words, I fell victim to an elaborate poop joke.  The first of many, I have no doubt.  Boys.  They are weird in ways I couldn’t have begun to imagine.