I need opinions.  Specifically, I need anyone and everyone who reads this blog to weigh in on a very important matter.  Don’t let me down, folks, I expect to see more comments on this post than any other.  Yes, Lurky McLurkerson, even you over there.  I NEED HELP.

I have got to decide what to do about my hair.

I’ve never been much on having a style that requires a lot of maintenance.  As I have discussed countless times before, I am pretty lazy and also don’t have a lot of patience for hassling with an involved style.  And I am chronically running late for work, so that poses an additional problem.

So that you all can make an informed decision, here are the facts:

• My hair is extremely thick.  EXTREMELY.  Inevitably the very first thing a new stylist says to me is along the lines of WOW!  You sure do have a lot of hair!
• My hair has a lot of natural body.  It is very wavy (almost curly) in the back, but sadly not so much around my face where it is pretty much stick-straight.
• Unfortunately, it is so heavy that the roots always appear to be quite flat.  I can’t do a cute ponytail at all, it just ends up looking like I’ve slicked it back.
• In humidity it frizzes.  A lot.
• The area around my face is not nearly as thick as the rest – when I have my hair thinned out I tell the stylist to only do the back.  I have learned that thinning the hair around my face makes it do a…thing.  A very unattractive flippy thing.
• I would like bangs, but I have a cowlick which made my last bangs experience quite unfortunate.
• My natural part is straight down the middle.  I have tried to change that with little luck.
• I prefer to wash my hair at night, because due to the aforementioned thickness it takes quite a long time to blowdry.  I simply don’t have time for that in the mornings.
• I actually once had a stylist tell me to never use a round brush in my hair without a professional there to supervise.  I had already come to that conclusion as the resulting tangles were quite impressive.

So.  I really don’t know what I want to do, other than get rid of some length, so any suggestions will be welcomed.  Now, pictures (in no particular order) that should give you an idea of what we’re dealing with:

Nonsoccermom Presents:  The Hair on Parade

Here it is circa December 2006.  No style, all one length, very blah.  It also appears that in addition to a haircut, I may want to consider lipstick.  Yikes.

The Hair goes to Paris, March 2004.  Mother of God.  I hope someone warned the locals.

This picture was taken in April 2007 (in San Antonio, just to further the impression that I am never photographed at home), and unfortunately is what my hair looks like a great deal of the time since I don’t enjoy having it in my face.  So sad, although it doesn’t really appear to bother AE that his mom’s hair is ugly.

Pregnancy hair in Austin, last summer.

Here is The Hair when allowed to air dry.  Notice the frizz, the wave, the hideousness.  Also notice the very teeny AE.

In case you thought I was joking about the Unfortunate Bangs Incident of 2003, here is proof.  Don’t look directly at them!  AVERT YOUR EYES!!

And here is the hair today.  Well, not TODAY, but last week.  Whatever.  At any rate, I obviously don’t wear it like this to work or anything but it has gotten so long and heavy braids are a good way to keep it reined in.  (And in case you are curious, the look on my face means Put the camera away before I make you eat it.)

I really can’t believe I just put all these pictures out there for all to see, but maybe it will underscore my desperation.  The Hair has gotten out of control.  I really need a change!

Suggestions?  GO.