AE is constantly cracking me up, whether he intends to or not.  I submit a sampling of some recent gems:

Scene:  Dinnertime, and we’re eating together as a family for once.

N:  What did you have for lunch today, AE?

AE:  Umm, I don’t know.

N:  Well, cheese sticks were on the calendar.  Isn’t that what you had?  You bought a tray, right?

AE:  Yes, I bought a tray but they weren’t cheese sticks.

N:  Are you sure they weren’t cheese sticks?  Because they usually serve what is on the calendar. 

AE:  I am very sure.  They were kind of like chicken nuggets.  Except not round.

N:  More like sticks?

AE:  Yeah.  And they weren’t chicken, either.

N:  So they were like chicken nuggets but not.  What were they made of?

AE:  I think they were cheese.

***** 

Scene:  Fresh out of the bath, AE is perplexed by a situation he’s having, um, downtown.

AE: Why do I have diaper rash, Mom?

Me: You don’t have diaper rash, you don’t wear diapers.  It’s just a little red.

AE: It’s probably because I wore too many diapers as a baby.

Me: I’m pretty sure that’s not it, baby.

AE: Well, why then?

Me:  Because it wasn’t dried off good after your bath so it stayed wet, I guess.  And got irritated.

AE: [very accusatory]  It is RED.  Water is not RED.  So that can’t be it.  You know what it is?

Me: [afraid to ask]

AE: It’s like when you get angry and your face gets red.  My pee-pee is very mad right now.

*****

Scene:  In the car, trying to pass the time.  AE suggests a game of Hangman, which is predictably quite difficult without benefit of pen and paper.  We’ve established that AE’s mystery word is 5 letters and contains an S, D and E.

AE: Come on!  Five letters, and it is something you can do with your cousins.

N: What do you know about cousins?  You don’t really have any.

Me: [remembering Lewiepalooza, where AE played with distant relatives]  SLIDE!  You can slide with your cousins!!

AE:  Nooooooooooooo.  DATES!!

N:  [trying not to laugh]

Me:  [trying not to laugh; failing miserably]

AE:  [is very indignant]  You know, where you go out and have a good time.  With your cousins.