AE continues to crack me up with some of the stuff he says.  And I’m sure it is only a matter of time before I’ll get to do this for Miss T as well – even though she doesn’t say much yet she still goes out of her way to make people laugh.  Hams, the both of them.

Me:  So!  Someone’s birthday is coming up, do you know whose?

AE: [deep in thought]  Noooooo…?

Me:  Mine! 

AE:  Oh, yeah!  You’ll be thirty!

Me:  [making mental note to discuss ladies/ages/social graces]  Yep, unfortunately.  But just remember this, I’ll never be as old as Daddy.

AE:  But you’ll both be thirty.

Me:  Yes, but Daddy turned thirty 5 months before Mommy.  You know how your birthday is two weeks before Tommy’s?  Even though you are both six you are still older than him.  Do you understand now?  DADDY WILL ALWAYS BE OLDER THAN MOMMY.

AE:  [realization dawns] Got it.

*****

 AE:  I saw the weirdest thing today!

Me:  What’s that?

AE:  I saw two girls kissing!  Isn’t that weird?!

Me:  [at a loss for words]

AE:  Girls are supposed to only kiss BOYS.

Me:  Um, well.  Sometimes – [gearing up to launch into a lecture about differences, tolerance and acceptance of lifestyle choices]

N:  STOP.  Ask how old the girls were.

AE:  [giggling wildly in the throes of a sugar rush]

Me:  How old were the girls, AE?

AE:  Five and six!  HEE HEE HEE HEE ISN’T THAT FUNNY?!?!?!

N:  Nearly got roped into that conversation earlier.

Me:  [collapsing in relief]

*****

After school, on Thursday, March 12.

AE:  [showing off a “Happy Birthday” bookmark]  Look at THIS!  It’s my half-birthday!

Me:  [trying to figure out how a child born on the 15th of September has a half-birthday on March 12th]  Huh?

AE:  Today is my half-birthday so I got to pick an extra book at the library!

Me:  Today is not your half-birthday.  Saturday will be your half-birthday because it is the 15th.  So you’re just celebrating it early, right?

AE:  NOOOOOOO.  TODAY is my half-birthday.

Me:  [in need of a lesson in picking one’s battles]  No, I’m quite sure that Saturday will be your half-birthday.  Why would today?  Today is the 12th and you were born on the 15th.

AE:  [sighs heavily, frustrated by the burden of his mother’s stupidity]  Well.  Because that is the way God made it, I guess.