I haven’t been blindingly busy at work lately, so I’ve had time to stop and smell the roses. Or more accurately, time to notice all the quirky things that go on around my workplace. I know I’ve touched on some of these subjects before, but that’s one of my most endearing traits – the ability to be catty and judgmental over and over again. Just ask my husband.
1) There are several different climates within our relatively small one-story building. You can walk from one end of the building to another and notice at least three different extreme temperature changes along the way. There are hot spots and cold spots and places that are mysteriously more humid than others. It isn’t uncommon to see people wearing cardigans or other lightweight sweaters. However, there is one woman that wears a heavy pea coat. Every single day, all day long, no matter where she is in the building. It can be 80 degrees inside and still, the pea coat. A hundred degrees outside – pea coat. Standing in direct sunlight in the hottest wing of the building – pea coat. I don’t get it. Even standing directly underneath an air-conditioning vent, it is never frigid enough in any building to necessitate a heavy winter coat. As a cold-natured person myself, I feel that I can say this with some measure of authority.
2) I maintain that it is rude to ignore someone who is speaking to you directly. If I say “hello” or “good morning”, and you know that I’m speaking to you – beyond a shadow of a doubt, there is no chance that I was speaking to anyone else – perhaps a response is in order, yes? You don’t even have to say anything, if that’s your preference. A nod of acknowledgement will do. Just so I know that I didn’t somehow become invisible. Is this too much to ask? I mean, it’s not like I want to become best buddies. I am not trying to engage you in conversation. I don’t even want to talk to you. But I am a princessy spoiled brat and WILL NOT BE IGNORED. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you came over and polled my cube neighbors to get some information but completely ignored me even though I was sitting right there. Oh, I noticed. Now it is a challenge. You refuse eye contact, I say hello anyway, and around and around we go. Sooner or later you will break. Patience may not be my virtue, but I am hella stubborn. You can ask my husband about that too.
3) Am I gross? Wait, before you answer that, let me explain. As a general rule, I tend to NOT use the paper toilet seat covers in public restrooms unless the seat is visibly dirty. Therefore, I don’t use them at work. I mean, it’s a newish building, the restrooms get cleaned every night, and I work with a generally non-disgusting group of people. I wipe the seat down with a piece of toilet paper before I sit (mostly because the toilets in our restroom spray upwards when flushed so the seats are always wet) and then I’m good to go. However, the telltale sounds of paper rustling tell me that most of my female coworkers DO use them. So I’m just wondering if I am in the (dirty, dirty) minority here.
4) I was trying to make copies one day last week, and the form I needed has to be on green paper. So I grabbed a handful of green paper and put it in the copier drawer. But I forgot to tell the copier to print from that drawer so my copies started coming out on white paper. So I cancelled the job and programmed the copies to come from the drawer, but then I forgot to scan the original again so all of my green copies started coming out blank. I cancelled THAT print job and started over, and then the paper jammed midway through my set of 25 copies. So I grabbed the copies that had actually printed, took the extra green paper out of the drawer and gave up. A few minutes later we got a message from a staff assistant saying that the copier was down. Apparently - according to one of my coworkers – they “found a green piece of paper stuck in the widget.” Oops.
