I’ve mentioned many times before that my son is much, much smarter than me.  Fortunately, he normally isn’t aware of it and therefore he’s not a smart-ass most of the time.  However, he does have his moments.

Finished getting his pajamas on after his bath tonight, AE was insisting that he couldn’t put his watch on by himself.

AE [whining]: But I caaaaaaaaaaaaan’t.

Me [busy with clean laundry]: Sure you can.  Just try.

AE: I did try!  But I can’t do it!

Me [seizing the opportunity to teach a Life Lesson]: AE, you can do anything you want to do.  You just have to keep trying until you figure it out.  [rapidly becoming an after-school special]  I don’t want to hear you say “I can’t”.  You CAN.

AE: But I don’t have enough hands!

Me [demonstrating]: Here’s how you strap on your own watch.  See?  So there you go.  [out of control with the cheesy clichés]  You can do anything you put your mind to.  There is always a way.

AE [matter-of-factly]: You can’t walk on the sun.

Me: …

AE: So you can’t do everything.  You can’t eat a light bulb.

Me [suddenly remembering an old-school MTV show whose name I can’t recall, but it had a segment similar to Letterman’s “Stupid Human Tricks”]: That’s not true!  I have actually seen someone eat a light bulb.

AE [unintentionally channeling Ted Logan]: Whoa.

Me: I know!  I mean, I wouldn’t recommend it, of course, but still.  It is possible to eat a light bulb.

AE: Did the guy die?

Me [realizing too late where the conversation is going – abort! abort!]: Um.  No, but it really isn’t a good idea to eat a light bulb.  So please don’t ever try.  My point is, you can do almost anything if you really want to.

AE [sensibly]: Why would anyone want to eat a light bulb?