It’s been so long since I posted here that I forgot how to log in.  Well, in the interest of full disclosure: the blog redesign took the admin link off my home page and I didn’t know the web address to get in through the back door so N had to text it to me from Florida.  Ahem.

Anyhow, I’ve been surviving as a single parent for the last several days while my husband is off playing local celebrity.  And quite frankly, I am exhausted.  I have a deep, profound respect for people who do this all the time because I am simply wiped out.  Miss T is…high energy, to say the least.  I could turn my back on toddler AE for whole minutes at a time without fear that he’d mortally injure himself or one of the pets.  Not so much with the little one, not to mention her propensity for running away and/or thrashing wildly when she doesn’t want to go somewhere or do something I’ve asked.  Parenting her at this age is very physical, is what I’m saying.  I need a nap.

I don’t really have anything of huge interest to report, just busy as usual. Let’s see…

• I made 100 on my first statistics test (whee!) and if the posted grade distribution is any indication I was one of just a few to destroy the curve.  Sorry, online classmates that I will never meet!  (But not really, because 100, bitches!)

• I have decided that N and I need to take a vacation this summer in celebration of our 10th (!) anniversary, so I’ve been searching for one that meets my very specific qualifications of A) passport required and B) tropical locale.  We’ll see what happens – N’s not really enamored of  the beach (and truth be told, I hate sand too but want to go someplace warm) and I don’t want to spend a ton of money, but we’ve got a bunch of airline miles saved up so that should give us some flexibility.  Plus, N is a master of finding awesome travel deals so I’m hopeful that we’ll find something fun without breaking the bank.

• Miss T is still working on certain aspects of potty training, and I am attempting to bribe her.  If she poops in the potty instead of her pants, she’ll get a sticker.  If she saves up five stickers, I’ll buy her a new My Little Pony.  I have little to no faith that this will actually work, but it certainly can’t make things worse.

• Evidently there was broccoli of questionable decency in the veggie tray I bought for my office Food Day on Friday, and as soon as the tray was opened we all nearly died of the stench.  I took it outside and threw it into the grass almost immediately but it was too late.  In what can only be described as Broccoligate, the smell had already permeated the entire building and had people talking about “that horrible smell” all day long.  I am sorry, coworkers, but this is not my fault.  For once, I actually did NOT buy the “manager’s special” tray with an imminent expiration date.  That broccoli should have been good at least through the weekend, so I refuse to claim responsibility for this.  Of course, that doesn’t matter because now I am the office pariah, known only as “the woman who brought the disgusting broccoli and nearly gassed us all”.  Lucky me.

• AE was picked as “Kid of the Week” for his after-school program, so that means he gets to go have lunch at a local restaurant with some of his counselors on Wednesday.  He’s pretty excited about it, and I’m very proud of him.  When I picked him up on Friday they told me how much they enjoy kids like AE – quiet, respectful and obedient.  Nice to know that at least one of my kids can be described with those words.

• I’m supposed to have jury duty tomorrow, and I am really hoping that when I call tonight the automated courthouse voice tells me that I don’t have to come.   Last time I had it, I was forced to make the 20-minute drive then stand around for over an hour before being dismissed.  Not that either of those things is a huge inconvenience but quite frankly, if I am going to be dismissed anyway then I’d rather save myself the trouble.

• My birthday is in less than 3 weeks, so maybe I should bring my “stuff I want” page up-to-date…you know, in case anyone wants to buy me things.  Particularly shiny ones.

*Not really (and I am pleased to report that I have successfully toasted at least five items in a row without flames), but I once read somewhere that screaming FIRE! is the best way to garner attention.  So there you go.