My son doesn’t like me anymore.  Or at least that’s what he claims.  He has started with this attitude, and pretty much every day I get to hear that he doesn’t like me and why. 

For example, a few days ago he informed me that he loves Daddy, and the cat, but not me.  When I asked him why, he again pointed out that he loves them, but not me because he doesn’t have enough room.  Or something.

Then one night while I was giving him his bath I had him laughing, then all of a sudden he stopped and said (very matter-of-factly), “I don’t like you because you laugh and scream a lot.”  Excuse me?  Since when is laughing a crime?  I will admit that I do probably raise my voice more often than I should (usually because someone isn’t doing what they’re told) but I don’t scream.

Evidently my laughing really bothers him though.  Last night I was laughing at something N was showing me, and AE looks up from his dinner and tells me (rather forcefully, I might add) to stop laughing, that he doesn’t like it.  ???

And that was the second incident of the evening.  Before dinner I asked him to wash his hands, but he didn’t want to.  So I led him to the bathroom anyway, explaining that we wash our hands before meals.  He looked at me hatefully and said something to the effect of “Don’t do that.  Don’t make me say that I don’t like you.”  It was then that I helped him dry his hands and threw mine in the air because I’m at a loss here.

Where do kids learn this stuff?  And why is it always directed at me, not his dad?  Who are these children at his school that say things like this?  That’s the only way I can figure that he picked it up, because certainly N and I don’t spend a lot of time listing the ways we dislike each other.  Or maybe he’s just coming up with it on his own, which is even more disconcerting.  N tells me not to worry about it, that it is just a phase, but it hurts to hear your 4-year-old calmly list the ways in which you offend him.  But I don’t really know what else we can do besides what we’re already doing:  reminding him we don’t talk that way and then putting him in time-out.  We should consider it practice for his teen years, I guess.
Moral of the story:  Parenthood is a constant exercise in frustration and bewilderment.  GAH.