What better way to ease back into blogging than with a movie review, right? Right. I’d apologize for being absent but I don’t really care (and I suspect neither do you). I was busy with class and am relieved to say that the semester is OVAH. I won’t have final grades for another week or so but at this point, I’m just glad to be done. I shake my fist at you, Statistical Tools for Criminal Justice. And thank the tiny baby Jesus in his tiny little manger that I definitely passed with flying colors and won’t ever have to take a graduate-level statistics course again, FTLOG.
Anyway, I had a lovely Mother’s Day. During which I went to see a movie by myself, for the first time in a very long time. And of course I chose to see Fast Five. Because why the hell not, you know? My favorite kind of movie – fast-paced action with little thinking required - which is of course N’s very least favorite. And quite frankly I prefer to watch them without him and all of his various disparaging remarks, although I have to wonder if he knew he was missing out on the opportunity to obnoxiously say “Damn! That’s ludicrous!” every time Ludacris appeared onscreen, as he is wont to do.
So, I really liked it! I know, we are all shocked. But I did! More than any of the others in the series, even (especially Tokyo Drift, which I don’t even count as part of the series since it is truly appalling in its horribleness). First of all, Rio is a great movie backdrop, and now I want to go there even more than I already did. And I have yet to see a Vin Diesel movie that I didn’t enjoy (yes, even The Pacifier, shut up), even though my husband and all of my friends say this is indicative of some sort of Problem. (Maybe there is a support group? Hi, my name is Nonsoccermom and I unapologetically love Vin Diesel movies.)
And I also love movies with Dwayne Johnson. I didn’t even realize he was in this one, so bonus! There was a particularly awesome fight scene between him and Vin Diesel that made the entire movie worthwhile for me. Possibly this also indicates some sort of bizarre disorder, but what can I say? I love a kick-ass fight scene.
Car chase/street racing scenes are a favorite too, and of course those were abundant. The climax of the movie (which I will not spoil for you) contains one of the best I have seen in quite a while. N would have scoffed at the questionable realism, but fortunately was not there so I was free to enjoy without judgment. I am clearly able to suspend my (limited) knowledge of physics when required for movie-watching so lack of plausibility doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
Jordana Brewster is gorgeous and exotic, and Paul Walker is pretty too but maybe it would be best if he just left the “acting” to his co-stars. You know it’s bad when Vin Diesel is putting in a superior performance, is what I’m saying.
The only thing that even kind of bothered me about the entire movie was that you could tell the violence and language had been scaled back to get a PG-13 rating. Not that I’m saying I enjoy a lot of blood, guts and sailor-worthy language in my action flicks but- actually, maybe that is exactly what I’m saying. Hmm.
Either way, overall, Fast Five was a really fun ride and something I look forward to seeing again. Possibly even purchasing on Blu-ray.
SUPER EXTRA-BONUS REVIEW-LET OF DATE NIGHT, WHICH N AND I GOT FROM NETFLIX A FEW WEEKS AGO:
Hi-freaking-larious. And Mark Wahlberg without a shirt, so major win. See it now, if you haven’t already. NOW.
Why are you still here?
