First order of business – N told me he’d divorce me if I refer to him as Nic on this blog.  Or at the very least, take my site down completely!  I was correct in my assumption that he wouldn’t go for Nic, heh.  Betty had a good idea, but I call my father-in-law Roz (in real life) so I can’t make that work in my own head.  So!  For the sake of simplicity and the agreement of all involved, from now on N will be referred to on this site as:

N.

I know!  All that to end up right back where we started, but I think it is for the best.**  Lex and Misty are here to stay, though.  They don’t get veto power because they don’t have access to my blog.

Segue!!

I got the monthly analytics report just now, and while I had opened this window with the intention of writing a couple of movie reviews I thought this might be more fun.  Or a easy post for the lazy.  However you prefer to look at it.  So anyway, what were some of the Google searches that brought people to my little corner of the web during July?  I thought you’d never ask.

“best soccer scenes in non-soccer movies” – This, gentle readers, is a very specific thing to be searching for with Teh Google, is it not?  And frankly, it’s something I’ve never given much thought…hmm.  The only movies involving soccer that I can come up (without cheating) are  Bend it Like Beckham (definitely a soccer (football) movie, and a good one at that), Kicking & Screaming (which is funnier than I thought it would be but again, entirely revolves around soccer)…and, um….Ladybugs (which I am ashamed – for so many reasons – to admit that I have seen more than once).  Beyond that, I can’t even think of any soccer movies (although for a minute I was all oh! Invictus! but no, that’s about rugby), much less any non-soccer movies that have a good soccer scene.  I realize why the word “soccer” brings so many people to this site and I was really hoping that maybe I had something movie-related to offer this person, but no.

“drop it as though its hot” – Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it actually ‘drop it LIKE it’s hot’?  Although I suppose if you are truly concerned with proper syntax, ‘drop it as though it is hot’ would be closer to accurate use of the English language.  Either way, ‘its’ is possessive, ‘it’s’ means IT IS.  Come on, people.  IT’S not that hard.

“how was your day” – Okay, who googles this?  No, I’m really asking.  Who?

“what did my rock candy not crystallize yet?” – I’m so sorry, Mystery Googler.  I hope you were able to eventually find the answer to your oddly-worded question, because lo, you did not find it here.

and finally, the strangest one of the lot (this month, anyway):

“bizarro y zoo” – I don’t even know.  Maybe my Spanish skills are rustier than I thought, but doesn’t this mean that someone was searching for bizarre AND zoo?   Hmm.  I’m actually a little afraid to think too hard about what kind of unique zoo this person may be seeking.

*I really, REALLY suck at coming up with titles, and also I hate it, so from now on if I can’t easily come up with something I’ll default to the same system as used to name tropical storms.

** Hey!  I could have used this system to figure out a name for N!  If I jump to the 2011 N name on that list it just so happens to be a guy’s name.  Huh.  Maybe I’ll do that after all.