People who drive 15 mph below the speed limit –

during rush hour, no less.  In the left lane.  Which in Texas, we use for passing.  COME ON.  How do you not notice that every other driver is blowing past you?  Oh, wait.  They aren’t.  Because apparently you got together with your good buddy and agreed to drive side-by-side, effectively blocking BOTH LANES.  HATE.

Small people who have bad timing –

and poop moments before I walk out the door for work.  When I am already running very late.  In fact, I should be at work at the exact moment of Poop Discovery.  So now I have to change a diaper.  And after I get that mess cleaned up, baby in question, please do not instantly spit up all over yourself and my skirt so that both of us have to change clothes.  So.  Late.

People who follow up an e-mail –

with an almost immediate phone call.  To tell me the exact same things that the e-mail stated.  The e-mail that I ALREADY RESPONDED TO.  And by the way, if you are going to A) send a semi-ranty e-mail to someone and B) follow it up with a semi-ranty phone call, please be sure that you are clear on what you are ranting and raving about.  Because if you keep going on and on about something that in no way relates to what I asked about in the original e-mail, you kind of sound like a loon.  I’m just saying.

People who pronounce things stupidly –

like the country Qatar.  How, may I ask, do YOU pronounce that?  Because there seems to be a raging debate around here.  I am firmly in the “KA-tar” camp, because I think that pronouncing it “Cutter” MAKES YOU ALL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF UNEDUCATED HICK MORONS.  OMG.  STOP ALREADY.  YOU ARE FEEDING INTO STEREOTYPES THAT TEXANS ARE A BUNCH OF UNEDUCATED HICKS AND I BEG OF YOU TO STOP.