Well, yesterday we visited the topic of the movies I love. Today, a list of movies that I really hate and the super-logical reasons why. This list is shorter (and fairly all-inclusive) – I am pretty accepting of weak plots and poor acting, and I really do like most of the movies I see. Mostly because I don’t tend to watch movies I don’t think I will enjoy. Here we go:
Edward Scissorhands. I saw this at a sleepover years ago when it first came out on video, and hated every minute of it. First of all, I’m not a big fan of Tim Burton’s movies in general – they are all a little too dark and freaky for me. My main thing with this one is just how depressing it is, not to mention FARFETCHED and UNREALISTIC. GOD. His creator dies before he can give him HANDS. WOE and MISERY, and give me a freaking BREAK. This movie sucks. The end.
The Astronaut’s Wife. N and I saw this in the theater, back in our dating days when I could still talk him into going to the movies I wanted to see. This movie is the reason I don’t get to pick anymore. Even Johnny Depp couldn’t redeem this one. The plot was lame, the acting weak, and I spent the entire time wondering when it would be over.
The Thomas Crown Affair. I’m talking about the one with Pierce Brosnan, not the original starring Steve McQueen. I believe this is the only movie that N and I ever walked out of mid-way through. I expected to really like it, so I don’t know what went wrong. I love me some Pierce Brosnan, and he excels at playing the suave, sophisticated playboy-type. HOWEVER. This movie just kind of lurches awkwardly along and was really quite boring in places. Also, I just don’t buy Rene Russo as the mysterious seductress she was supposed to be. I like her in other movies but she just wasn’t convincing at all in this role. It is crap.
There’s Something About Mary. Raunchy, disgustingly crude humor. UGH. I watched this one under duress, back in the day when I worked at a movie theater and we had free employee showings. I have not seen it since the day before it was released in 1998 but the hate lives on. I am still not a Ben Stiller fan – I think this ruined it for me. I realize I’m in the minority here, because most everyone that I know thinks it is hilarious. Sorry, DO NOT LIKE.
Honorable mentions go to the following movies. They aren’t on my Special Hate List, but I can’t sit down and watch them again either:
2001: A Space Odyssey. Quite possibly the most boring movie ever made. I’m sorry, my dear husband, it is.
Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000. So fascinatingly horrible, I couldn’t turn away. Truly a cinematic trainwreck.
Dumb and Dumber. Come on, Jim Carrey. You’re better than this, aren’t you? Well, maybe not.
