Every once in a while I find myself saying or doing something that would have shocked and/or horrified pre-parenting me.  Apparently being a mom just causes this to happen spontaneously.   (I won’t even mention the fact that sometimes I hear my own mother come out of my mouth.)

Take tonight, for example.  During bath time I got a little water in AE’s eye by mistake, and I was afraid it was about to escalate into something akin to this.  And in a move that surprised both of us, I scooped up a huge handful of water and splashed it directly into my own eye.  Then I willed myself not to blink as I stared down a bewildered AE.  See?  Am I crying? I asked.  He shook his head.  Well, then, do you think it really hurt that bad? Poor guy was so surprised, all he could do was ask if I was going to dry off my face.

And of course I find myself saying all manner of things that would never have passed my lips 6 1/2 years ago.  Things such as:

• Hey, stop that.  STOP THAT.  We do not eat our shoes.
• For the love of God just stop talking so I can brush your teeth.
• Because I’m your mother and I said so!
• If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry about!  [Mom?  Is that you?]
• Get away from that!  Put that down!  Get down from there!  That is not for babies!  PLEASE STOP DOING THAT OMG.
• No really, shoes ARE NOT FOR EATING.
• We do not hit the doggie.  Or poke her in the eye.
• Brother’s shoes are not for eating either.
• Please get your finger out of my nose.
• It’s okay to say that /do that/play with that privately but for the love of all that is good and holy don’t do it at school.  Or in front of your grandmother.
• Oh, yay, I’m so glad you finally pooped!